Welcome to 2020. It’s a gorgeous summer day and, if you’re like me, you’re stuck at home. At the minimum, coronavirus and global economic depression are keeping you from a much-needed vacation, or a family get-together, or a day at the beach. You might be dealing with young children without the backstop of child care, or you might have to face the prospect of meeting your bills after a layoff or furlough. Or you might have sick family members or even be ill yourself, and are trying to navigate the waters of our modern medical system.
Life is pretty hard right now. Every moment of your day, you’re trying to get by with less and less, as the virus and the bad economy wreak havoc on your life. Or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones with a secure job and healthy family – if so, I congratulate you on your good fortune, but know you must be worried daily that it could come to an end.
Whatever your situation, you need to make the most of your opportunities, and that’s where negotiation comes into the equation. “But, negotiation?” you say. “Negotiation isn’t for me! That’s for professionals!” It’s true – most negotiation wonks, self-help experts, and well-meaning advisors have turned negotiation into an art form, and elevated it into a scary, specialized practice reserved for only the sharpest lawyers and FBI hostage negotiators, the province of people heading into battle with sharks or terrorists. No one wants to deal with that type of pressure on a day-to-day basis.
But what the experts don’t tell you is that each moment of the day is a chance for negotiation – an opportunity to get more out of life. In fact, you have been negotiating since you were a baby. Every time a child mimics its parent’s expression, or gives an extra hug, or just acts super cute, it’s an effort to extract more from the parent – more love, more attention, or more toys, sweets, or time before bed. The child is not being insincere – I think we all would consider the love of a child far above reproach. But these are the basic tools of humanity – ways to secure our place in society and maximize our standing – and all humans learn them at a very, very young age.
If you’re not negotiating daily, it’s because you’ve forgotten how to do it, why to do it, or how common it is. My program is designed to coach you through this, and arm you with best practices for continuous improvement into the future. I first learned these skills while getting degrees at Harvard and Cornell, and have spent the last 20 years advising the largest corporations on the best ways to grow their businesses, maximize their profits, and beat their competitors. As you read through upcoming posts and accompanying guides, I will show you how I approach the negotiation table, what works for me, and what I try to avoid. I will lay out the types of negotiations you’ll likely encounter, what the other party is likely thinking, and what tools and techniques you can use to reach your best outcome. And I will equip you with the theory and real-world practice to build up your negotiation toolkit based on your own personal style.
An old finance professor of mine once said that all your money is made at the margins, and truer words were never spoken. The “margin” – the negotiation place between what you’re willing to pay and what you’re actually paying – is what we all need to maximize, whether it’s denominated in money or time or general happiness. Let’s each create our own ideal Negotiation Place.